crying on the subway

I post a lot of laughing photos.

But here’s a reminder that Instagram isn’t reality. I completed a New Yorker’s rite of passage last week and cried on the subway. No one batted an eye, except the MTA woman directing traffic when I stepped off the train. “It’s going to be okay, sweetie,” she said, as I walked by with my head down. Her kind voice brought a fresh wave of tears. You know how that goes.

And everything will be okay, it’s true! It was just one of those days. I’m lucky that they come infrequently for me. I‘m an optimist by default with a resting smile face. Most days I’m struck by how dreamy my life can be. But every once in a while it’s cathartic to just fucking cry. To purge all the bullshit of a day that feels overwhelming, confusing, hopeless, devastating.

So maybe keep that in mind as you scroll. Everyone on here has cried big ugly tears. When you’re inevitably caught in those aching moments, know that you’re not alone.

The next morning I woke up with my eyes a little puffy. I was still a little sad. But things always feel a little better to me after a good night’s sleep — when I’ve made it through the dark, to the start of a new day.