no more silence

When I went to a Black Lives Matter protest in 2015, my parents admonished me. You could have been arrested, they'd said. You could have ruined your future. It's better to stay out of these things.

We as second-generation Asian-Americans are taught not to disturb. Our parents tell us how they studied hard, worked hard, and followed the rules to pave our way to the American Dream. We are told to do the same. After all, we are the "model minority" - a myth built on the backs of our Black-American neighbors. Because if it weren't for generations of Black-Americans fighting racism, perhaps the acceptance of us wouldn't have come so easily.

I don't want to discount the fact that Asian-Americans have faced atrocities, especially in these past few months. I worry about going back to New York and getting harassed for my Chinese face. But even still, I recognize the privilege of my skin color: I have never worried about getting murdered by a police officer. I have never worried about going for a jog or simply being in a public space. In these past few days, I've oscillated between binging social media and news and then shutting it off, because it's all so devastating. But ignoring the discomfort is a privilege. Silence is a privilege.

I will no longer be complicit in anti-Black racism. I am researching, learning, and listening. I've set up a recurring donation to Color of Change and donated to The Bail Project. I've been having uncomfortable conversations with my parents, and will continue to call out family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers. If you're not horrified, if you're not speaking out, if you're not taking action — as Desmond Tutu said: “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”