one second a day

This video strings together one second for every day of my travels last year (okay, some are 1.5 seconds - I cheated).

I came home 11 months ago, and I obviously waited a while to post this. I think I wanted some grand revelation or announcement to pair it with. But I realize it’s like my small head shake when I’m asked, "Have you figured it all out now, after that big trip? Do you know what you want to do with your life?"

Some days, I'm nostalgic for my life pre-May 2018. I’d probably be content if I’d never left that sure and certain track. But I did. And I met people from all over living in ways I'd never known. I peeked into a kaleidoscope of so many paths that could also become mine.

Have I figured it all out now? I don’t know if I ever will.

Some people know their paths. They are drills that bore holes through any mountains in their way. I’m more like the water that erodes its way through the mountains —slowly, with determination and fluidity. I might have been content if I continued on with my May 2018 life. But I don't think I'm meant for one-track sameness. I want rushing rapids and quiet streams and excitement with uncertainty and ones that truly get me and others shaking their head, thinking "That girl is so lost." Because that’s what comes with a burning desire to explore.

Last Thanksgiving, I wrote what I was thankful for from a hostel bed in Australia. This year, I'm in my childhood bed in Potomac, Maryland. I'm grateful for a life that keeps surprising me, for travel friends that comfortably slip in and out of my life, and for forever family and friends that will always make me feel like me. I'm grateful for every second I've lived and every second left in this story. So if you ask me, what will I do with the rest of it? I’ll say: I'm grateful not to know.